All posts tagged 'Dating'

NYC Men Clamour For Curls At Kinky New NYC Speed Dating Event

10. December 2010

NYC-based dating aservice OnSpeedDating.Com in partnership with NaturallyCurly.Com recently hosted its first-ever “Curls Gone Wild” Speed Dating event on Thursday, December 2nd, 2010.

Dennis Reilly (36), a New York firefighter was one of the first single men to request that OnSpeedDating add a “curly” speed dating theme to their constantly-growing portfolio of themed singles events.  “I sent an email 3 months ago,” says Reilly.  “I love confident, curly haired women and am happy to see it’s finally happening”. 

Several recent requests for this particular event by curl aficionado NY singles, like Dennis, clearly counter the singular voice of Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger’s constant “curl bashing”. “It’s not even about straight versus curly anymore,” says NaturallyCurly.Com Co-Founder, Michelle Breyer.  “It’s about women embracing their natural beauty.  Patti Stanger is a giant step backwards in terms of female empowerment.”  Contrary to Stanger’s obvious misconception, NYC men respond positively to women with curls. “We actually had a wait list for men wanting to get into this event,” explains OnSpeedDating.Com Co-Founder Carmine Di Re. 

“I’m going to admit that I typically do blow-out my hair straight on a first date,” said single girl, Michele Jones. “As women, we’ve been pre-conditioned by the media to believe that men want women with straight hair.  I was so excited to see a singles event where I can actually be myself and know the guys are gonna like me - curls and all!”

Thursday night’s event quickly reached its goal registration of 15 men and 15 women ranging in age from 24 to 46. The Watering Hole, a Gramercy mainstay, featured three-tiers of cascading two-top tables and romantic lighting.  Each table was adorned with a number, dating pamphlets, pencils and plenty of sponsor-provided Sweetbreath breath freshener, ensuring daters would breath-friendly throughout the night.

First-time speed dater and recent California transplant Thomas Holmes, (24), heard about OnSpeedDating's multitude of theme-specific events through their guest appearance on Howard Stern.  “I find curly women to be fun and sexy and like to think of their wild, curly hair as an extension of their extremely outgoing personality. There are so many gorgeous women here tonight I am really psyched.”

The evening started off with singles checking in around thirty minutes prior to the event start.  Informal mingling over drink specials gave the men the initial opportunity to marvel at the abundance of cascading curls, while a few of the women swapped hair styling tips with each other.

The speed dating began at 7:30pm once all of the single men and women had been seated in pairs. The chime of the bell signaled each couple to begin their three-minute "date".  Many were relaxed, a few were nervous, but conversation, curls and drinks flowed all night and smiles were contagious.  With every chime, the men moved to the next table until they had the chance to meet all 15 women in attendance.

In support of the confident curl girls who ventured out on such a cold December evening, DevaChan Salon and Deva Spa Co-owner Lorraine Massey made a surprise appearance with a $250 DevaCurl gift basket in tow to award to the woman with the best curls.  With 15 curl-vaceous women to choose from, after careful evaluation, Lorraine’s expert eye singled out the curly blonde tresses of single New Yorker Gail Glidewell (33).

“I definitely connected with some women tonight,” says Financier Rob Alder, (33).  “I’d say there were at least 4 women that I would be interested in seeing again.”

For $35, the curly haired women in attendance not only got to meet attractive, professional men, they also were guaranteed that they wouldn’t go home alone.  Every woman left with three bags worth of curly swag from major hair care sponsors like Devachan Salon, Deva Spa, Miss Jessie’s, Christo 5th Avenue, Hercut, BeautyVT and Avon.  Performer, Tauren Hagens (36), a brunette with above the shoulder curls enthused, “I am blown away by tonight! Hot men and free hair care products?  What more could a girl ask for?”

Di Re summarized the success of the evening by stating, “Based on the turn-out, energy and connections I saw tonight, I foresee this becoming one of our more popular events.”

To guarantee a spot at OnSpeedDating.Com’s next event, register for the waitlist at OnSpeedDating.Com. Check out the pics from "Curls Gone Wild" Speed Dating by adding Amber Guesa as a facebook friend.

 

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A Guide To Decoding Dating Labels

26. November 2010

As single women, when it comes to relationships, we like to have closure and more importantly, to know where we stand at ALL times. Unfortunately in today’s convoluted dating world where the internet, free dating sites and cell phones have provided already non-committal men with even MORE options and honesty and transparency pretty much don’t exist, where do we stand?

 

If I’m seeing someone that has “boyfriend potential” I like to say that I’m dating.  “Boyfriend potential” meaning he has the majority of things on my “LIST”.  Is he the one?  Too soon to tell, but he could potentially be “the one” and we will continue to “date” until I figure it out.  To be clear, I can’t say that I’ve done too much "dating" in the city.  I very RARELY click with and am attracted to someone and in the rare event that I am, they typically end up being unavailable and/or raising red flags which quickly down-grades their status.  Is it okay to “date” more than one person at a time?  I think it is critical to “date” multiple men. “Things”, especially in NYC have a tendency to NOT work out.  By having a couple of guys in the rotation, you’re keeping your options open which helps lessen the disappointment when it doesn’t work, there’s always the other guy.

 

“Seeing Someone” If you’re going out with someone you know is NOT “the one” but you are sleeping with them and spending time with them, than by my definition, you are “seeing” them.  Guess it’s a kind of a more respectable way to describe an unspoken “friends with benefits” or “hook-up” situation. I tend to “recycle” guys that I’ve “seen” in the past.  They come, they go, but they ALWAYS come back in some form or fashion even years later.

 

“Boyfriend” Actions speak louder than words with exception to “the talk” which HAS to happen for your “relationship” to be legit.  He can be acting like your boyfriend, seeing you a few times a week, calling you every night, holding your hand in public, BUT, if you do not have “the talk”, he in his own mind can still think he is single and actually, based on the unspoken rules of dating, technically has the right to still be seeing other people.  Most men try to put off having “the talk” for as long as possible.  Here’s a hint: Stay away from men who are initiating “the talk”, especially if it’s within a couple of weeks of meeting you.

 

Harsh but true...You may have had "the talk", and even be saying the "L" word, but here's a MAJOR indicator that he's still NOT really your boyfriend.  If you're "boyfriend" won't change his Facebook status to say "in a relationship" with you, than despite having had "the talk", he is still not willing to fully commit and is probably seeing people behind your back or at least wanting to have the option to do so in the event he's contacted by an "ex" or as SO many men endearingly refer to me, "unfinished business".  If you're in this situation I would quickly in your mind downgrade this man to someone you're "seeing" while immediately hitting singles events and girlfriend supported outings to begin the search for an upgrade.


FYI ladies…”Text message” relationships are “textbook” he’s just not “into” you.  But that’s okay…maybe we’re not all that “into” them either.  As soon as a relationship starts to look like or full-on become of the “text message” variety, I quickly demote that guy from someone I’m “dating” to someone I’m “seeing”.  Don’t get me wrong, “text message” relationships can be a nice distraction and keep us going during dreaded  dating droughts.  I for one survived ten years in "Corporate America" largely due to some great text message exchanges that got me through PLENTY a boring meeting, conference call and 3-day seminar. Again, they’re fine, but don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s more than it is and just know that like a “text”, these types of relationships tend to be short-lived and EASILY deleted…except for the private, naughty pics that these guys will probably save on their phones FOREVER so they can continue to show them to their friends and anyone else that will look. 

 

Here's my dating advice.  With all of the 'smoke and mirrors' that men put out, it’s hard to say if we’re ever seeing things clearly.  Our relationship labels may at times be off or greatly vary, but at the end of the day I truly believe that knowing is half the battle.  The quicker you can see things for what they are, the less likely you are to be disappointed, hurt or wasting valuable time.  I tell all of my gfs and female matchmaking clients, be aware of your male surroundings and always try to know where you stand. If you’re too emotionally involved to assess, have an honest girlfriend put a label on it for you.

 

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Avoid Holiday Hell. A Single Gals Survival Guide To Meeting The Parents.

26. November 2010

“You Never Get a Second Chance to Make a First Impression,” has been forever ingrained in our minds thanks to the Head and Shoulders ad campaigns of the 1980’s.  Meeting the parents for the first time can definitely be a ‘make or break’ relationship milestone that you want to get right the first time.  Below are my tips and dating service for successfully navigating the “parental waters” during the already stressful holidays.

 

Know Before You Go

First and foremost, only agree to meet the parents if you consider your relationship to be serious and on that level.  I can’t tell you how many of my girlfriends and/or matchmaking clients have agreed to meet the parents of someone they’re not even that “into”.  Talk about sending mixed messages!  Here this person thinks you guys are totally serious because you’re spending the holidays with them and their family, and in reality, you were just in it for the free home cooked meal or maybe just had nothing better going on.  I’m telling you, it happens, so consider what meeting your significant others parents means to them and their family. Make sure this is the path you want to go down because at the end of the day if it doesn’t work out now you don’t only have to break up with them but also their family.

 

The 411

Open and honest communication is key to the success of any relationship.  Hopefully you and your significant other are already close and you are aware of their home life growing up and any on-going family dramas or hot buttons. In the event you aren’t, now’s the time to get up to speed quickly. How did the parents meet?  Are they religious? What do they do for work?  What are their interests, and/or favorite T.V. shows? What if anything did they not like about any previous girlfriends? If you guys are staying the night, are the parents the type to let you stay in the same room?  You definitely need the low-down on anything and everything "familial" prior to going into what could very well be the lion’s den.

 

Get On The Same Page

Anticipating the tough questions and having a game plan as to how to answer them is a must. Do you want the parents to know you guys met at an S&M bar, on a free online dating site, at a singles party for swingers or at a “Bi-onic” speed dating event for bi-sexual women and the men that love them? If not, you better get your stories straight.  Are the parents aware that you are living together?  If not, you need to make sure you don’t accidently “out” your living situation while passing the mashed potatoes. Topics to be prepared for might include if you’re having safe sex, when you’re getting married and/or having kids.  In the event you’re dealing with manipulative parents, or more likely, a possessive mom who may bring up stories about ex-girlfriends, it’s always good to have a full-disclosure session with your mate beforehand so there are no major surprises.  In trying times like these it’s good to refer to the Boy Scouts tried and true motto, “be prepared”.

 

Come Bearing Gifts

When meeting the parents for the first time you definitely don’t want to go in empty-handed.  A nice bottle of wine, their favorite dessert, fresh-cut flowers, a new release or classic DVD or board game of the Milton Bradley variety are some good gift ideas.  If they’re not drinkers, maybe some gourmet coffee, sparkling cider or chocolates. Something personalized is always the best way to go, but at the end of the day it’s the thought that counts. It’s sort of like  Kindergarten where if you bring something to class you have to have enough for everyone.  It wouldn’t be cool for you to bring something very specific and un-sharable, say a picture frame or book for one person leaving out the rest of the family.  

 

Keep It Real

Be genuine, be sincere, be yourself.  Many friends would recommend you avoid certain topics of discussion all together…politics, sex, religion.  I have a different view on this. I believe if these topic come up you should discuss your views honestly and respectfully. At the end of the day if the parents are going to hate you, might as well establish that early on and know what you’re potentially getting yourself into. There’s also a fine line between being complimentary and being fake.  Don’t be the fake, kiss-ass girlfriend that is throwing out compliments left and right, desperate to earn the families approval.  No one likes that. 

 

Actions Speak Louder Than Word

Don’t just offer to help around the kitchen,…jump right in. Is mom setting the table? Grab some silverware and get in there.  This is the perfect opportunity for one on one bonding and to demonstrate your stellar domestic skills. Has everyone finished eating? Start clearing the table. Nothing is more annoying than the faux, almost inaudible offer to help.  The insincere, “Can I help with anything?”, knowing they’re not going to take you up on your offer. You want to make a good impression on the family, don’t talk about it, in the words of Nike, “Just Do It.”  In the event the family is insistent that they don’t want any help, then at that point you can back down knowing you made a solid effort to pitch in.  

 

Go With The Flow

If the family wants to play Scrabble after dinner, even if you’re Scrabble skills are limited to 3-point word plays like [r-a-t], be a good sport and participate.  If dad wants to watch the big game after dinner and you are totally not a football fan, I say suck it up and be one for a couple of hours.  Be the laid-back, easy-going kind of gal that everyone loves.  The last thing anyone wants is a high-strung, diva-esque potential daughter-in-law. If everyone at the table is drinking red wine, don’t be that girl that insists on opening up the bottle of white that they don’t even have until they run out and get it just for you.  If you sit out on the sidelines, and/or come across as demanding and difficult, you become fodder for family gossip and judgment. Variety is the spice of life.  Embrace the family traditions, and at the same time gain more insight and understanding of your partner.

 

Make A Connection

As a woman, ensure you make a special effort to hit It off with the mother and any sisters as they will definitely be critical to win over.  I find asking to see baby-pictures a great way to bond with the mom.  If you go this route just be ready for the long haul.  We’re talking like a minimum of five albums worth.  If it’s a big family gathering make a genuine effort to meet not just the parents, but also the extended family and any family friends. Don’t devote 100% of your efforts to impressing the potential in-laws. This would be a rookie mistake on your part. Winning over the siblings and rest of the fam is equally important. Make sure to pay a lot of attention to the little kids, the neighbors, the geriatrics, and even the family pets. Spend time getting to know each person, connecting with them on some level. If you keep to yourself or just with your partner, others will definitely take notice and you’ll be perceived as an anti-social “ice-princess” ala Sarah Jessica Parker’s character in The Family Stone. I don‘t care if you’re shy or introverted, “fake it till you make it”. 

 

Seal The Deal

The good-bye is key.  Here’s a tip.  If you want to cement it with mom, tell her again how much you enjoyed the food and ask for some recipes of the dishes you really liked.  Trust me, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach by way of his mother’s cooking.  Why do you think Jennifer Aniston is still so close to Brad Pitt’s mom?  You definitely want to go in for the hug and not the handshake as hopefully you’re first meeting went well and you’re now considered family.  Thank them for their hospitality and definitely share that you had an amazing time, and that it was nice to finally meet them and how much you look forward to seeing them again. Seal the “welcome to the family” deal by sending a hand-written thank you note in the mail the next day. 

 

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