All posts tagged 'amber soletti'

Decoding Dating Profiles Part II: 10 More Guys You Want To Avoid

24. December 2012

online dating

My original top 10 dating profile red flags intended to save you the ridiculous amount of time that I have now forever lost by corresponding with and/or going out with some total losers I met online was apparently very popular. So, I’ve gone on to provide you with ten more guys to avoid!

Disclaimer: To any of the men whose online dating profiles inspired and unknowingly lent to the quotes that comprise my post, let’s all hope for your sake that knowing is truly half the battle.

1.  “Bonus Point” Guy
You know this guy, the dude that gives “bonus points” for anything and everything. If you “have cookie baking and/or cookie eating skills,“ check this out, you get bonus points. If you’re as comfortable in Manolos as you are in flip-flops or hiking boots, in his book you are the recipient of MAJOR bonus points. Trust me when I say the bonus to you comes from avoiding this guy who clearly likes to play “games” and keep “score.” He will spend the majority of your relationship playing Wii or X-Box in his undying quest to accumulate “points.”

2. Webster 
Here’s a hint: if a guy’s dating profile requires a dictionary to understand, including him seeing “remuneration as a somewhat limited levy of attainment,” forget the dictionary and allow me to translate: I am an insecure guy who will overcompensate for my shortcomings by constantly talking over your head in an attempt to impress you with my knowledge of really big words. P.S. I also suck in bed and will therefore incorporate my SAT vocabulary into talking dirty to you, so as to hopefully distract you from what will probably be the “nadir [lowest point] of coitus [sex] of your entire being [life].”

3. “Disclaimer” Guy 
Any guy that actually feels the need to share with you in his profile that he’s not a “guido who’s life revolves around the gym,” an “angry person,” “gay, confused,” nor has he “ever experimented in college,” does NOT require any additional reading. If he describes himself as being “straight, like your gay friend that you can also have sex with,” you may want to go as far as to flag his profile as inappropriate.

4. “Novel” Guy
If a guy’s profile requires scrolling down just to get to the half-way point, you should probably click “next” without hesitation. You’ll notice that he has exceeded the generous 1,000 characters that the majority of on-line dating sites allot. His “about me” write-up is probably abruptly cut off, but not before he was able to squeeze in, “If there’s anything else you would like to know about me, feel free to ask."  Trust me, when it comes to dating profiles, stick to the Cliff’s Notes versions.

5. To Catch A Predator 
These are the guys that are over 35-years old and looking to meet someone 18 and over for a “serious relationship.” Seriously? You’re 42-years old, a high school teacher, have a 20-year old daughter and are open to dating 18-years olds?  Feel free to “date” and potentially move in with this dude if you don’t mind him eventually leaving you for one of his students, or even worse, your future adopted teenage daughter, ala Soon-Yi style.

woman on computer

6. Contradiction Guy
This guy “Likes going out, but also enjoys staying in,” and possesses a “strong, but gentle nature.” His life is “complicated, yet simple,” and he is the type of guy that, get this, “likes to make plans, but also be spontaneous.” Ladies, here’s the deal with this guy: you could go out with him, or not go out with him, he’s totally fine with it either way.

7.  Ambiguously Gay Guy
Avoid any and all guys that say they will “do anything at least once,” and have “been to gay bars,” at their “friend's invitation.” They will probably admit to having had at least one “man crush,” which more often than not ends up being Johnny DeppChristian Bale, or Ryan Reynolds aka “RyRen.” The big tip off is when they say that they have “never gone ‘all the way’ with a guy and have zero interest in it.” But wait, there is however, a certain type of guy that “for whatever reason,” they are attracted to. To clarify, “only “in the 'making out' while drunk sort of way, definitely not in the holding hands and going to the movies sort of way.” Unless you're a girl who really thinks sex is overrated and are therefore down with dating a “bi” now, “gay” later dude you'll want to click "next".   

8. “Average Joe” 
This guy uses the minimum number of required profile characters to share that he “likes to try new things and see new places.” He probably “likes to have fun,” and get this, on his days off, “likes to do various things.”  He of course is “open to meeting different types of people,” and really looking to “meet someone that he can get to know.” “B-to-the-oring! if you could really see yourself dating Forest Gump, and/or eating super bland rice every day for the rest of your life, by all means go ahead and send a wink.

9. Freudian Slip Guy 
This guy might wrap up his profile by stating, “if interested, please massage me.” He is also more likely than not “looking forward to meating you,” and probably implored you to “feel free to wink and say bi”. Ladies, you definitely want to say “bye” to this guy as he’s got a one-track mind and is just looking to “get off” online dating, and not in a “meet the one so he can settle down” sort of way, if you catch my drift.

10.  Low Self Esteem Guy 
This guy might describe himself as having a decent body “if you don’t mind fairly flabby with a bit of a gut.” He’ll probably throw in something mid-way to the effect of “I’m sure I already lost your attention and doubt you’re still reading this.”  You’ll notice this guy for the most part will keep his profile short and sweet, unless of course he’s decided to list all of his short-comings, not because he’s a man of few words, but just in case “you are not interested, at least [he] will not have wasted too much of your time.”

Tell us: what are some other online dating red flags you've noticed?

Amber SolettiOriginally from Austin, TX, Amber Soletti has been living the single life in NYC since 2000. A marketing professional, Amber worked in the beauty industry for Fortune 500 companies including Aveda and Avon. In an effort to subsidize her dating life and income, in 2008 she co–founded what would soon become NYC’s hottest dating services. Amber has written many published articles on dating advice and the NYC singles scene. She, along with her companies OnSpeedDatingSingleAndTheCity & Kissburg have been featured by The New York Times, Howard Stern, Regis & Kelly, The New York Post, What Not To Wear, Dateline NBC, Good Day NY, CNN and more.

 

 

 

 

dating, dating tips, Free Dating Advice, General, Love & Relationships, Love & Sex , , , ,

Decoding Dating Profiles: The Top 10 Guys You Want To Avoid

24. December 2012

online dating

Having been online dating since moving to NYC in 2000, it goes without saying that I have more experience perusing men’s online datingprofiles than any single gal should. I want to share with you what I've found to be the top ten dating profile “red flags” that could save you the ridiculous amount of time that I have now forever lost by corresponding with and/or going out with some total losers.

Disclaimer: To any of the men whose profiles inspired and unknowingly lent to the quotes that comprise my post, let’s all hope for your sake that knowing is truly half the battle.

1. Hat Trick
If a guy’s profile only features photos of him sporting a baseball cap, don’t just assume that it’s his favorite hat or that all of the photos must have been taken from the same outing. In "physical description" he may have even filled in the question of “hair color” with “ask me later.” Don’t get me wrong, a lot of bald guys are hot. My dating service even offers a “Bald And The Beautiful” Speed Dating event that always sells out for women. What’s NOT hot is a self-loathing, insecure guy that’s hiding under his hat.

2. “Model” Citizen
Avoid a guy that talks about how he does some “acting and modeling on the side,” is a “former model/personal trainer,” or any variation of having once had a “lucrative career as a model.” They either feel that all they have going for them is their looks, are living in the past, or they’re not looking so great these days and are hoping by mentioning they used to model, you will find them hotter.

3. CAPITAL OFFENSE
ANY GUY THAT WRITES HIS ENTIRE PROFILE IN ALL CAPS SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS. I.E. “I`M JUST YOUR EVERY DAY PEOPLE AND WOULD LIKE TO MEET SOMEONE SEXY, AND DOWN TO EARTH.”  UH, CAPITAL “NO.”  IT’S AS IF THEY’RE OVER-COMPENSATING WITH LARGE FONT FOR THEIR SMALL INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY.

4. “Killer” Profile
If a guy’s profile pic even remotely resembles Jeffrey Dahmer, to the point where you’re seriously questioning if it is actually him or perhaps a first cousin, you might want to go ahead and click "next."   You know what I'm talking about, the thin guy with the glasses, scraggily hair and a total menacing, pedofile-esque look on his smile-less face. Granted, some people aren’t photogenic and look better in person, but honestly, are you willing to risk your life on it? 

 

 

guy computer couch

5. Lost In Translation. 
“Maybe should me first by said that English is no my speaking.” If you think that was hard to decipher, imagine how much time he put “into” perfecting it via his use of the [insert any foreign language] to English on-line dictionary. I’m sorry ladies, I don’t know about you, but I for one don’t have the patience to date a guy that requires subtitles. I’ve done it once, and you just end up smiling and nodding a lot.

6. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
I get really turned off by the guys that describe themselves as “very attractive,” “charming,” “kind,” “honest,” “generous,” “romantic,” “blah,” “blah,” “adjective,” “blah.”  First of all, “attractiveness” is in the eye of the beholder, so post your pic and let us be the judge.  And as for the rest of it, I feel it should come across in what you say and be more of a “show-not-tell.”

7.  Humor Me
Along those same lines are the guys that find the need to describe their humor ala “I have a dry wit, sure to make you laugh,” or “I think that my most marked trait is a somewhat self-deprecating sense of humor.” They may even go as far as to say, “I’m the funniest guy you’ll ever meet. LOL.”  Be warned ladies, these are likely the least funny guys ever. Date the self-proclaimed “funny guy” and you’ll be courtesy laughing for life.

8.  Don’t “Hang” Yourself
“I'm looking for someone to hang out with and get to know.”  Translation:  I’m not looking for a relationship or to take you out on dates. I just want to come “kick it “ at your crib late night, so I can get familiarized with your liquor cabinet and favorite positions. Don’t worry, I’ll bring the 420. Let’s just say these relationships tend to be as short-lived and easily delete-able as the text messages they’re usually founded on.

9.  Come Correct
If someone mentions that they are “opened to the possibilities,” “have interests which might seem like contractions,” are “emmotionally available” and/or, get this, find “grammatical errors an spelling mitakes a turn off,” you may even want to go as far as to “flag” the profile as inappropriate.

10. “Fit” To Be Tied
Avoid any and all guys that say, “working out and staying in shape are very high on my list of priorities.” They probably then delve into stats on how frequently they go to the gym. They of course like to do a “variety of things including hiking, skiing, triathlons, running, biking, etc.” They keep themselves “in tip-top shape and believe the body is a gift and should be maintained.” What they clearly haven’t realized is that being SO “fit” and “big” actually makes “it” appear even smaller than what they’re already trying to over-compensate for.

Amber SolettiAmber Soletti is the co-founder of two of NYC’s hottest dating services. Amber has written many published articles on dating advice and the NYC singles scene. She, along with her edgy, tongue-in-cheek “themed” speed dating, singles parties, and free online dating service have been featured by The New York Times, Howard Stern, Regis & Kelly, The New York Post, What Not To Wear, Dateline NBC, Good Day NY, CNN and more.


 

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NYC Men Clamour For Curls At Kinky New NYC Speed Dating Event

10. December 2010

NYC-based dating aservice OnSpeedDating.Com in partnership with NaturallyCurly.Com recently hosted its first-ever “Curls Gone Wild” Speed Dating event on Thursday, December 2nd, 2010.

Dennis Reilly (36), a New York firefighter was one of the first single men to request that OnSpeedDating add a “curly” speed dating theme to their constantly-growing portfolio of themed singles events.  “I sent an email 3 months ago,” says Reilly.  “I love confident, curly haired women and am happy to see it’s finally happening”. 

Several recent requests for this particular event by curl aficionado NY singles, like Dennis, clearly counter the singular voice of Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger’s constant “curl bashing”. “It’s not even about straight versus curly anymore,” says NaturallyCurly.Com Co-Founder, Michelle Breyer.  “It’s about women embracing their natural beauty.  Patti Stanger is a giant step backwards in terms of female empowerment.”  Contrary to Stanger’s obvious misconception, NYC men respond positively to women with curls. “We actually had a wait list for men wanting to get into this event,” explains OnSpeedDating.Com Co-Founder Carmine Di Re. 

“I’m going to admit that I typically do blow-out my hair straight on a first date,” said single girl, Michele Jones. “As women, we’ve been pre-conditioned by the media to believe that men want women with straight hair.  I was so excited to see a singles event where I can actually be myself and know the guys are gonna like me - curls and all!”

Thursday night’s event quickly reached its goal registration of 15 men and 15 women ranging in age from 24 to 46. The Watering Hole, a Gramercy mainstay, featured three-tiers of cascading two-top tables and romantic lighting.  Each table was adorned with a number, dating pamphlets, pencils and plenty of sponsor-provided Sweetbreath breath freshener, ensuring daters would breath-friendly throughout the night.

First-time speed dater and recent California transplant Thomas Holmes, (24), heard about OnSpeedDating's multitude of theme-specific events through their guest appearance on Howard Stern.  “I find curly women to be fun and sexy and like to think of their wild, curly hair as an extension of their extremely outgoing personality. There are so many gorgeous women here tonight I am really psyched.”

The evening started off with singles checking in around thirty minutes prior to the event start.  Informal mingling over drink specials gave the men the initial opportunity to marvel at the abundance of cascading curls, while a few of the women swapped hair styling tips with each other.

The speed dating began at 7:30pm once all of the single men and women had been seated in pairs. The chime of the bell signaled each couple to begin their three-minute "date".  Many were relaxed, a few were nervous, but conversation, curls and drinks flowed all night and smiles were contagious.  With every chime, the men moved to the next table until they had the chance to meet all 15 women in attendance.

In support of the confident curl girls who ventured out on such a cold December evening, DevaChan Salon and Deva Spa Co-owner Lorraine Massey made a surprise appearance with a $250 DevaCurl gift basket in tow to award to the woman with the best curls.  With 15 curl-vaceous women to choose from, after careful evaluation, Lorraine’s expert eye singled out the curly blonde tresses of single New Yorker Gail Glidewell (33).

“I definitely connected with some women tonight,” says Financier Rob Alder, (33).  “I’d say there were at least 4 women that I would be interested in seeing again.”

For $35, the curly haired women in attendance not only got to meet attractive, professional men, they also were guaranteed that they wouldn’t go home alone.  Every woman left with three bags worth of curly swag from major hair care sponsors like Devachan Salon, Deva Spa, Miss Jessie’s, Christo 5th Avenue, Hercut, BeautyVT and Avon.  Performer, Tauren Hagens (36), a brunette with above the shoulder curls enthused, “I am blown away by tonight! Hot men and free hair care products?  What more could a girl ask for?”

Di Re summarized the success of the evening by stating, “Based on the turn-out, energy and connections I saw tonight, I foresee this becoming one of our more popular events.”

To guarantee a spot at OnSpeedDating.Com’s next event, register for the waitlist at OnSpeedDating.Com. Check out the pics from "Curls Gone Wild" Speed Dating by adding Amber Guesa as a facebook friend.

 

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